[chapter twenty]
(Two and a half weeks later, on tour in Milwaukee)
Caitlin splashed water on her face, then walked back into the hotel room where JC was laying on the bed removing his shoes and sweaty shirt. She smiled, and sat down to remove her own shoes. "I swear, I could watch you guys do that every night." She said with a grin.
"Stay on tour with us…I promise you good seats every night." JC replied with a wink.
"Tempting, Chasez. Very tempting." She replied with a smile. "But for now, I'll settle for a few days here with you. Tomorrow is a day off, right?"
"Yep. Alright. I'll take what I can get." JC said, lying down on the bed. "God, I'm wiped out."
"Well, I'm not surprised. It was really hot out there tonight. I was hot just dancing in my seat, whereas you were running the lengths of football fields, AND dancing, AND singing." Caitlin said sympathetically.
JC sighed. "It's worth it, though. And it's a hundred times better when you are in the audience."
"Don't think I didn't notice that look you threw me during Up Against the Wall." Caitlin said teasingly. "And the wave during This I Promise You was a nice touch."
JC laughed. "Just telling you hey, baby."
Caitlin laughed, and sat up when she heard a knock on the door. "I'll get it. Rest yourself, pop star." She said with a teasing grin thrown over one shoulder. She opened the door and was immediately hit by a body crashing into hers.
"Air raid! Take cover!" Chris yelled as they hit the floor. Moments later, Joey and Justin came bounding in, pelting the two of them with nerf balls. Chris jumped up and grabbed Caitlin, hiding behind her. "Don't do it! I've got a hostage!" He yelled, holding an imaginary gun to her head. Joey hit Chris square in the head with another ball, so Chris 'pulled the trigger'. Caitlin immediately slumped to the floor and laid there, trying not to laugh as Justin screamed and tried to jump to her rescue. He and Chris began to fight, Joey cheering them on, until all four ended up in a tangle of arms and legs and laughter on the floor.
"Hi guys." Caitlin said calmly when the noise had settled to a reasonable level.
"Hi, Caitlin." Came the chorus of replies. "Hey C." Chris called. "You wiped?"
"You could say that. I'll never understand how you guys still have so much energy." JC said, sitting up and watching them disentangle themselves.
"I'm a night person. You're a day person. It's like noon for me." Chris said with a grin. "What about you, Cait? Still awake?"
"Oh yeah! After that show, I'm totally pumped!" She said with a smile.
"We were going to go grab a bite to eat…you guys wanna come?" Chris asked.
"I'm done in. I'm going to read for a bit and go to bed." JC said, rolling his eyes slightly.
"Party pooper." Justin said teasingly. "I should do the same, really. But I won't." He said with a smirk.
"I know. I suck. You can go if you want to, baby." JC said to Caitlin who stood torn between the bed and the door, silently deciding what to do.
"You sure?" She asked suspiciously. JC nodded yes, but Caitlin turned to Chris and Justin. "Give me five minutes?" The nodded and quietly left the room, giving each other noogies on the way. "I'll stay, if you want. I don't want you to be mad at me again."
JC sighed. "I'm sorry for the way I acted last time you visited. But seriously, go. I don't mind. I'm tired out anyhow, so I'll crash in a few minutes, and I'll just see you in the morning. Can we have breakfast together?"
"I'd love that." Caitlin said quietly, walking over to wrap her arms around JC. "Sleep well, honey."
"Have fun. Be careful." JC said into hair as he returned the hug. "I'll miss you."
"I'll be back soon." Caitlin promised, grabbing her wallet and key and heading to the door. Before disappearing through it, she turned and smiled and winked at JC, who blew her a kiss, and then she closed the door quietly behind her. Walking down the hall, she caught up with Chris and Justin, who were talking in the hall with Lonnie and Mike.
Chris saw her approach and turned to greet her. "Hey. Joey got a call from Kelly, so he's going to stay in and talk to her. Justin is wimping out on us and going to sleep, but I'm still up for running around, if you want."
"I'd love to. I haven't seen you much this trip…we can catch up on things." Caitlin said. "You guys joining us?" She asked Lonnie and Mike.
"Nah, we just making Mr. Kirkpatrick here promise to behave himself and stay out of sight and we'll stay behind. AGREED?" Lonnie said in a booming voice to Chris, who cowered jokingly.
"Yes, sahib. Chris will behave himself. Can we have a car?" Chris asked meekly. "I wanna go to Wal-Mart."
Lonnie and Mike exchanged glances, and sighed deeply. "Be careful. Stay out of sight. Call if you need us." Mike said grudgingly, handing Chris keys to one of the security vans. "No mobs."
"No mobs." Chris said solemnly. "We'll be back later." Chris said over his shoulder, grabbing Caitlin's hand and dragging her down the hall. "C'mon, before they change their minds." He whispered to her as she laughed and followed.
(42 minutes later)
Chris maneuvered the van into the other lane on the highway and set the cruise control again. Caitlin turned to him and repeated the same phrase she had already used a hundred times since they left the hotel. "This isn't a good idea, Chris."
"This is a great idea, Caitlin." Chris countered, grinning. "You suggested it, so no backing out now."
"Okay, I didn't realize it was so far away. Or that you would take me seriously. I also suggested co-ed naked putt-putt, a twister contest at the bar across from the hotel, and finger painting, but you didn't use those suggestions." Caitlin said, flopping back in her seat.
"But this is classic. When will we ever have this chance again?" Chris said, wheedling. "Stop worrying. Catch me up on the all the Orlando gossip instead. How's the book going?"
Caitlin looked at Chris across the console for a moment, then resigned herself to the rest of the trip and sighed. "It's going okay. I've been working on it in spurts, but it's coming together."
"You told C about it yet?" Chris asked.
"No, not yet." Caitlin said. "I don't know what he would say. I mean, I know he would be supportive, but then he'd want to read it, and I'm not ready for that. Yet."
"I understand that." Chris said. "But you could write the world's worst story, and he would still adore it."
Caitlin smiled slightly. "I guess so. But still. Not yet…I still have a long way to go before it's a real book."
"How're the roomies?" Chris asked, passing another car and settling further into his seat.
"They're good. They aren't there much these days…things at the base have gotten 'heated', I guess, so they are staying there a lot. I have the house to myself pretty much all the time." Caitlin answered. "They say hi, by the way."
"Tell them hey for me." Chris said. "Those guys are pretty cool."
"Yeah, but try living with them." Caitlin said, sticking her tongue out. "Freaks!"
Chris laughed and looked over at her, smiling as she smiled to herself. He couldn't help but smile when Caitlin was around…. she was so fun, and cool, and smart. And women like that were in short supply on the tour this year.
"It's like one older brother isn't enough, I suddenly have three!" Caitlin lamented.
"What are they brothering you on?" Chris asked.
"Everything." Caitlin said, rolling her eyes. "They go into super-protective mode anytime anything happens to me."
"What happened lately that put them like that?" Chris asked sympathetically. "This sounds like fresh anger."
"Not anger…just…frustration." Caitlin said. "Well, you know the whole story with Ray, right?" Chris nodded, slightly sheepishly, but Caitlin continued. "Well, the part you might not now is that he's been writing me letters for months. I don't read them, just throw them away. Well, now his latest tactic is to call and scare the hell out of me and threaten me."
"Threaten you?" Chris asked darkly. "If he comes near you…"
"He hasn't. He just wants us to get back together. Yeah, that'll happen." Caitlin said sarcastically. "He's just getting me out of his system. It'll stop when he gets bored. But a couple of times have been a little frightening. Like the day I came out to the Compound and interrupted practice. I still feel bad about that."
"It was no big. I had a feeling something had happened-JC said you were having 'ex-boyfriend' troubles, so I figured he had sprung up again." Chris said. "Anything I can do to help?" He asked, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze.
Caitlin smiled and squeezed back. "Nothing you aren't already doing." She said. "Are we there yet?" She asked removing her hand to brush back her hair.
"Keep you pantyhose on." Chris said, quoting The Abyss.
"Turn on your side, Virgil." She shot back, and Chris laughed. "Are we?"
"Yep. A few more minutes, and we're there." Chris said. "This is gonna be cool. But first, pit stop." He said, pulling off the highway and heading for a strip mall. "Wal-Mart, we love thee."
"Wal-Mart?" Caitlin asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, we need a disposable camera for this. And besides, I told Lonnie I was going to Wal-Mart, and I keep my word. I just didn't say WHERE I was going to Wal-Mart." Chris said with a wink, hopping out of the van.
(30 minutes later)
"Think we can scale it?" Caitlin whispered, the disposable camera in one hand.
"Oh yeah. And I don't see any security. Let's go for it." Chris whispered back with a grin. Caitlin nodded, and the two of them ran across the lighted lot for the dark shadows, and then slid over to a chain-link fence. With a little grunting and a lot of laughing, the two of them climbed up and over the fence, then ran down the hill a little way, before coming to a stop on the grassy turf. They stopped for a second to catch their breath, then walked out into the middle of the field.
"Wow." Caitlin said, gaping at the field. "I can't believe we're on the fifty-yard line of Lambeau Field. I think I'm having a religious experience."
Chris nodded and smiled. "Agreed. This is totally awesome. I would love to see a game here."
"Me too!" Caitlin agreed. "This is so cool." They walked around the field and sidelines a bit, before gravitating back to the fifty-yard line. "I've always wanted to come here. Of course, I pictured it with thousands of fans in Packers gear and a bunch of football players out here, but still…this way might be even better. It's so quiet and peaceful."
Chris smiled at her as Caitlin joined him, and they stood in silence for a few minutes, looking at the stars and looking around the stadium. Chris grabbed the camera and they mugged for pictures and made sure to capture the entire experience on film. After running out of shots, Chris slipped the camera back in his pocket, and they stood again in the middle of the field. "Never thought I'd be doing this tonight."
"Me neither." Chris breathed, his heart pounding. "There's something I want to tell you."
"What's that?" Caitlin asked, turning to face him.
"Uh…never mind." Chris said sheepishly.
"Oh…come on, can't leave me in suspense like that!" Caitlin teased.
"Well…it's like this…" Chris said, and then stopped. With a silent prayer of forgiveness and hope, he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips harder against hers and wrapped his arms around her. Caitlin was motionless for a few moments, shocked at Chris' actions, amazed at how soft his lips were, then quickly remembered who and what she was and pulled away from him. Her fingers flew up to her lips, and her eyes were a blend of disbelief, uncertainty, and confusion. Chris squeezed his eyes shut and stepped away from her. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm so sorry."
Caitlin said nothing, but stared silently at the boy who until a few moments before had just been a friend. And her boyfriend's best friend.
"You know what? I'm not sorry." Chris suddenly burst out. "I've wanted to do that for a long time. JC doesn't know how lucky he is. He doesn't deserve you."
Caitlin put up a hand and began to walk away. She needed a minute to think, to get away from Chris, to figure out what was going on. She admitted to herself that she had thought about Chris from a girlfriend standpoint once or twice, but never seriously. She loved JC-he had been acting strangely lately, but she loved him. Now she understood his jealousy and anger of late. He somehow had intuited that Chris felt this way. The pieces fell together, and she whirled around to face Chris. "How could you?" She whispered. "He's your best friend."
"Yeah. He is. But I can't help the way I feel about you." Chris defended. "Trust me, I've been in hell the last few months over the way I want you. And even though I would never knowingly hurt him, I had to find out if you felt the same way." Chris paused. "I'm guessing that's a big, fat no."
"Chris…" Caitlin began, then stopped to collect her thoughts. "Yes, I care about you, but…"
"Tell me you've never thought about us together." Chris dared her. "Tell me that."
"Sure, the thought crossed my mind, but…" Caitlin began.
"See. I wasn't totally off base then." Chris defended himself.
"Chris…" Caitlin began again. "You know what, let's head back to Milwaukee. I'm ready to go."
"Fine." He said softly. "But this discussion isn't over."
"I'm well aware of that." Caitlin said quietly, dreading the long car ride home.