[chapter seven]
Disclaimer: If you've heard of
them, I don't own them. Everything else is mine, so no stealing, pretty please.
;-)
**
Okay, I'm a bad person.
Operation Piss Off Brendan (yes, I'm searching for a better operational name) is in full swing today, thanks to a winsome smile from Junior and Brendan's sneering at my new shirt.
Let me explain.
I bought a new shirt. It's a tad clingier than anything else I own. But not slutty. End of story.
I thought it was the end of the story. Brendan was staring at me all morning at the shop, and making me feel like either a caged animal or a bug you are plotting to kill.
Junior just happens to call mid-morning to see if I'm up for some lunch company, and I whine about Brendan staring at me all morning.
Naturally, Junior being, well, Junior, SWOOPS in at lunch and makes a big show of hugging me, giving me a kiss on the cheek, helping me on with my jacket, the whole nine.
I just *happened* to glance over, and Bren is turning that scary maroon colour again.
I'm a bad person because, well, I was inwardly celebrating the fact he was so jealous.
He was never jealous when we were dating, but now...
He makes me crazy, but I don't want him wanting anyone else.
At least until I decide who or what I want.
I'm a bad person.
The Very Private Journal of Holly Neale
I'm a bad person because Bren never got jealous of other guys when we were together, but I *always* got jealous of other women.
I totally trusted him, but I hated the thought of these other women turning his head.
I was thinking about a truck race from last year, right as Bren was getting more and more attention from the media, from different teams, and definitely from other women.
Before the race, some pit lizard was *throwing* herself at him, and I was hating every minute. He knew I was pissed before he climbed in the truck, but he didn't say anything even when I was ignorning him, when I refused to kiss him. I fumed through the whole race, seething with jealousy, much as I hated myself for it.
About halfway through the race, Bren got caught up in a wreck and totally wiped out his truck. I had that flash of fear that he might be hurt and that his last thought of me before the wreck was of me being pissed off at him.
That almost killed me.
When he got released from the infield care center, he punched a trailer. Full on punched it.
Then he turned around, saw me and gave me that big, adorable grin of his.
"Well, look at it this way." He said, throwing his arms around me and nuzzling my ear. "We can go home and have sex a lot earlier now."
I laughed so hard when he said that, and honestly forgot why I was mad at him in the first place.
Needless to say, we followed his directive to the letter.
Thinking about that now reminds me how much I miss him.
But maybe we're better off apart where we can't hurt each other with words anymore...
The Very Private Journal of Holly Neale
I won't apologize for hanging out with Junior, or for enjoying his company as a friend.
But it's starting to kill me to see Brendan's face when he sees us together.
(Today's horoscope: By the end
of this month, you will have to resolve a relationship with a loved one, and
decide in a direction to move. God, ain't that the truth.)