[chapter seventeen]
Disclaimer: If you've heard of them, I don't own them. Everything else is mine, so no stealing, pretty please. ;-)
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~Shea's POV~
He doesn't love me.
He doesn't love me.
I don't even know how I'm going to be able to drive my car home, since I can't see with all the tears flooding my vision.
He doesn't love me.
He's not happy.
After all those times, all the things he did, the way he treated my mother, the way he treated me …
And I was nothing to him.
Just a 'friend'.
With benefits, I guess.
I feel like my heart is ripping from my chest. I can't take this. I can't.
I want to storm back into his house and yell and scream. I want to kick his ass. I want to make him hurt the way I hurt right now.
But I won't give him the satisfaction.
If he doesn't love me, fine. No point in looking like I give a good god damn what he thinks or feels.
From now on, I don't care. I don't care about him or his feelings or his anything.
I'm looking out for me. No one else.
I'll never be hurt like this again.
Never.
And I'll never see him again.
I know that.
I'll never see him again.
Because right now, the further I can get away from this town, this man, this life, the better off I'll be.
But I know that for the rest of my life, I'll never love another man the way I love Jimmie Johnson.
And that hurts almost as much as the hole in my heart right now.
Almost.