[chapter eighteen]
Disclaimer: If you've heard of them, I don't own them. Everything else is mine, so no stealing, pretty please. ;-)
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~Jimmie's POV~
It's been 37 days, 13 hours and 6 minutes since I saw Shea.
Since I broke her heart.
Since I shattered my own.
I know she's gone. The house went up for sale, the coffee shop has a help wanted ad in the paper, and her car has disappeared from town.
It's like she's a ghost.
I can only hope she went back to Columbia. To follow her dream. If she did, it was worth it.
If she didn't …
Well, I don't want to think about it.
I miss her so much it hurts.
I can't concentrate on my frickin' job. I can't even count how many times Chad has bitched me out lately.
I can't eat.
I can't sleep without visions of her in my head.
"Wanna know what I think?"
"No."
"Too bad." Jeff says, sitting down beside me out behind the shop and offering me a bottle of water, which I take listlessly.
I sigh heavily but say nothing.
"I think you're being a bonehead."
I snort but say nothing.
"Why don't you just tell her you lied?"
"I can't."
"Why don't you tell her you love her?"
"I can't."
"Why don't you go find her, explain everything and start over?"
"I can't, Jeff."
"Why, exactly, can't you?" He asks, genuinely. "I mean, really. Tell me. Explain it to me like I'm a four year old."
I smile a little as he makes a face like a little kid at me before he elbows me to tell him the story.
I tell him everything I know about Shea … about her mother, about Columbia, about her wanting to stay here because of me.
And how I made her go.
He winces when I tell him I told Shea I didn't love her.
"Ouch." He says sympathetically.
"Yeah."
"Jimmie?"
"What?"
"Take the day off, get your ass to New York and find her. Consider it professional development. Because you've been driving like shit since she left. Go. Now."
I look at my boss, daring to believe it would be that easy.
"I'm serious. Get outta here."
And with that, I'm on my feet and sprinting for the door.