[chapter twenty]
Disclaimer: If you've heard of them, I don't own them. Everything else is mine, so no stealing, pretty please. ;-)
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~Shea's POV~
Jeez, I told Jen I would be there in a minute.
I fling open my dorm door to tell her so and almost fall through the floor.
Jimmie. Is here. At my room. Looking larger than life and nervous and tired and beautiful.
I would give anything to throw my arms around him and cry in his embrace.
Instead, I cross my arms and lean against the doorframe, willing myself to be strong.
He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you.
Just remember that.
"Jimmie." I say coldly, trying to look bored and noncommittal.
He looks like he's about to cry.
"Shea, oh my god, it's good to see you. How are you? Are you okay? I called Alice and she didn't want to tell me where you were, but I begged her because I had to see you and now I'm here and my flight was late or I would have been here earlier though you might have been in class … "
I've never heard Jimmie speak so quickly or look so forlorn.
I think my heart is breaking. Again.
" … anyhow. Hi. How are you? Are you okay? Damn, I already said that."
"Hi." I say instead. "I'm fine, thanks. But you could have just sent a letter or made a call to ask that."
Be strong, girl. Be strong.
He hangs his head a bit. "I know. But I couldn't. See, I have all these things I want to tell you and I couldn't just … "
I interrupt him. "I don't want to talk about this here." I say, looking up and down the hallway of my crowded dorm floor. "Let's walk."
He nods and steps back as I pull on a jacket and yank my door shut, throwing my keys into a pocket. Silently, we follows me until we are outside and we begin walking slowly towards campus.
"Are you okay? Really?" He asks quietly, seeming to have finally gotten his speech pattern to slow down.
Physically, sure. I'm right as rain.
Mentally, I seem to be all there, despite classes kicking my ass from being out of practice.
Emotionally?
Well, that's the culprit, isn't it?
"I'm okay." I say neutrally. "Everything with my mother's … estate … has been settled, and I'm back into classes. Though Comp Lit is kicking my ass so far."
"I doubt it. You're the smartest person I ever met. I'm glad you're back here, doing what you should be doing."
You are? You ARE?
"You are?"
"Well, yeah. Of course. Even though I've been dying a thousand deaths every minute you've been gone from my life."
Maybe I'll start those Jimmie Johnson sonnets again after all.
Maybe.
"Then why? Why? Why all of the … why?"
I have to know. I have to know.