[chapter fifteen]

JC closed the front door behind him and shuffled back into the family room, throwing himself on the sofa with a deep sigh.

"I would say the boy's got it bad." Joey said with a grin.

"Oh yeah. Look at that glazed expression. He's a goner." Justin affirmed.

"I've got it bad fellas. But I'm too damn tired to talk about it tonight. Tomorrow?" JC asked.

"Alright, we hear ya. We're outta here...see you in the morning, tiger." Joey said, slapping JC on the shoulder as he headed for the door with Justin in tow.

"G'night guys." JC replied.

Moments later, he dragged himself upstairs to get ready for bed. He couldn't stop thinking about Caitlin, and her confession of her past, and the way he felt so close to her, and how much he loved kissing her, and...

Before completing any of these thoughts or resolving one way or the other, he fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

...

Caitlin walked through the darkened house towards the glow of the TV emanating from the family room. "Hey." She said as she sat down on a chair opposite Jon, who was watching an infomercial with little interest.

"Hey." Jon responded, clicking off the TV, and bathing the room in darkness. "How was your night?"

"Complicated. Yours?" Caitlin said.

"Boring. Why complicated?" Jon asked.

"I told JC. About Ray." Caitlin said quietly.

"You did?? What did he say?" Jon said, slightly shocked. "You must really like this guy to be dredging all that history up."

"He was great. He did the typical guy-lose-his-temper thing, but it was ok. He was understanding and supportive. I really like him, Jon. I wanted to be honest with him. Things seem to be drifting to a new level with us, and I felt like I had to tell him." Caitlin said.

"New level?" Jon said.

Caitlin laughed at the suddenly overprotective voice coming from her best friend. "You know what I mean."

"Caitie, are you thinking of sleeping with this guy?" Jon said.

"Oh, tell me you aren't doing this, Mr. I-Sleep-With-Anything-In-A-Skirt. I'm an adult, I've totally fallen for this guy, so yes, sleeping with him has crossed my mind." Caitlin retorted. "Dad." She emphasized.

"Ok, ok. I wasn't trying to pull a parent on you. I just...wow. I'm a bit shocked. After everything Ray did to you..." Jon started.

"Yeah, Ray did a lot of damage, but you know what? None of it was irreparable. I don't want to go through life afraid of sex, or thinking it's bad, or being afraid to be close to a guy I really care about because of what some lame brain did to me months ago. I trust JC, I like him, and I want to believe that love and sex can be a good thing." Caitlin paused. "Am I crazy for thinking that?"

"You aren't crazy. Maybe JC is the one to show you all those things." Jon said. "He seems totally sprung on you, and he's a nice guy. My vote is that you trust him. But I still don't like the idea of ANY guy sleeping with you." He added.

Caitlin got up from the sofa and stretched. She walked over and dropped a kiss onto the top of Jon's head. "I love you, you know that?" She started to go to her room. "I'm going to bed, so I'll talk to you in the morning. G'night."

"G'night sweetie."

(The next morning, at the Compound)

"Ok, I think that covers most of the business we needed to attend to today. Jive has hired several new publicity agents for you guys, so we'll need to have a meeting in a couple of weeks to get you introduced and find out where we go from here." Johnny Wright said, wrapping up the meeting that had gone on for several hours. "Please get some rest over the next few days, and let me know the progress of the studio recordings. Jive wants some samples so they can start coming up with a marketing strategy. One last thing." Johnny said.

Several groans came from the group assembled around the table. "Oh, can it." Johnny said good-naturedly. "I was just going to tell you that Louise cooked today, so there's food downstairs..."

The sounds of chairs being pushed in and the guys fighting their way downstairs drowned Johnny's announcement out. Home cooked food was a hot commodity at the Compound, and rarely were there leftovers. After the guys had piled their plates high with steaming food, they headed for the screened in porch and took up positions on the floor and on the light wicker furniture scattered around. After several minutes of concentrated chewing and very little conversation, Lance finally broke the silence.

"I can't believe Jive hired even more people to do publicity for us. All we need is more people floating around all the time." He said.

"I can't believe Johnny just talked for hours about a bunch of stuff I can't even remember now." Chris said. "My head hurts from thinking about contracts, publicity, samples, songs..." He paused. "Can't we have these meetings at like, 10pm or something?" He suggested.

Joey laughed. "I'd be more awake, but 10pm would definitely cut into my fun time. And I won't have that." He joked, as the guys laughed along with him.

"I'd rather be here than at home arguing with Brit." Justin said. "We got into yet another fight last night on the phone."

"So much for 'digital getdown'. What are you fighting about now?" Chris asked.

"Everything. Scheduling, never seeing each other, the paparazzi. I sometimes wonder why we started going together again in the first place." Justin said with a sigh. "Probably not even worth it."

"Dude, if it's meant to be, it'll fall into place. You'll see." Chris said, giving a confident nod to his young friend.

"I guess. I just wonder if I'm with her because of her, or because I want to be with someone, you know?" Justin said.

"Well, we can't help you with that one, I'm afraid." Chris said. "JC, you're being awfully quiet. You usually add something to any relationship conversation. What's on your mind?"

"Sorry, guys. Just a lot to think about." JC said after a moment.

"Can we help?" Lance asked. "Everything with you and Caitlin ok?"

"Yeah, we're good. I mean, we're better. I mean..." JC sighed. "She told me something last night, and I can't get it out of my mind. And I don't know where to go from here." JC paused. "I'm not making much sense, am I?"

"Not really." Lance said with a gentle smile. "Can you tell us?"

JC sighed. "Ok, promise you'll never say anything to her? I don't want her to be embarrassed or uncomfortable around you guys."

"We promise." They chorused, settling down to hear JC's story.

He related Caitlin's story from last night, and how deeply affected he believed her to be about men in general, and sex specifically. His band mates listened attentively, and nodded their support. They each sounded disgusted when JC talked about Ray hitting Caitlin, and audibly gasped when he told them of the rape. When he concluded the story, there was a heavy silence.

"I can't believe there are guys like that in the world, and to hurt someone like Caitlin...she's so nice and kind and..." Justin said, fuming.

"I know. I know." JC said, shaking his head. "She's so great, and to think she's been through all this. well, I never would have known until that night things starting progressing. I'm glad she told me, but now I don't know what to do. I don't want to treat her like a china doll, but I don't want to hurt her or scare her again either." He looked around at his companions. "What should I do?"

"Well, I don't think I can add much here. I mean, it's not like I have lots of experience with the women or the sex, but I would say just play it by ear. Prove to her that love and sex can be good things. Not scary, you know?" Lance said quietly.

"I agree. Show her that guys aren't all the same, and just take things slow." Joey said. When everyone threw him a disbelieving look, he defended himself. "I know you guys think I'm a big hound, but I would never treat a woman that way, and with someone like Caitlin, I would sure as hell give her the respect she deserves, and let her set the pace."

Chris nodded. "Let her set the pace. That's the best advice, I think." He grinned. "And show her a good time, while you're at it. Let that librarian let her hair down. Like the night we went dancing. That girl was hot!"

JC grinned. "She was, wasn't she?"

"Show her love, C. Just show her love." Justin said quietly.

"So, show her love and sex are good things, let her set the pace, and show her a good time. That about it?" JC asked.

"Yep." Justin said with a grin.

"Thanks guys. Seriously. It helps to talk about it, rather than dwell on it." JC paused. "So, Curly, what's this about an imminent breakup with Britney?"

...

"Godammit! Give that back!" Scout shrieked as he chased Caitlin through the family room.

"No way! Get away from me!" Caitlin shouted as the phone rang. Grabbing a Super Soaker off the kitchen table, she pointed it at Scout's chest and proceeded to pick up the phone. "Hello?" She said, slightly out of breath.

"Caitlin? You alright?" JC's voice sounded concerned on the other end of the line.

"Fine, just having a small disagreement with Scout about the phone bill because he ARGH!" Caitlin yelled as Scout dove for her and the bill she held in her hand. She blasted him with a spray of water screaming, "Take that!" and he retreated. "JC, can you hang on one second?"

"Sure." JC said, laughing at the scene he was imagining in Caitlin's house. He heard the phone clatter to the table, and then Scout shrieking at Caitlin as she obviously ran away from him. Moments later, he heard a door slam in the distance, and then Caitlin picked up an extension.

"Sorry about that. Had to make a hasty retreat to my room." Caitlin said, throwing herself on the bed, still armed with the Super Soaker.

"What happened?" JC asked with a smile.

"Scout called a bunch of 1-900 numbers, and figured he would just get the phone bill first. Unfortunately, I got the mail today, so he was busted. I was planning on broadcasting the news, so a small war ensued that culminated in you calling, me spraying him with a Super Soaker, and then me running like hell for my room. But I still have the bill." Caitlin said proudly.

"Good girl." JC said with a laugh. "I was calling to see what you were up today, but if you're busy..." He trailed off.

"I think I can pull myself away from this scene for a while. If I sneak out my window..." She said, laughing.

"I was just thinking of renting some movies and kicking back for a few hours. We had meetings all day and I think my brain is fried. You interested in joining me?" JC asked.

"Sure! Want me to pick up a pizza or something on my way over?" Caitlin said.

"Sounds perfect. Say around 6?" JC said.

"See you then." Caitlin replied.

chapter sixteen