[chapter twelve]
Disclaimer: If you've heard of them, I don't own them. Everything else is mine, so no stealing, pretty please. ;-)
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~Jeffy's POV~
She definitely can't stay here tonight.
What the hell am I doing? What was that? Who was that?
It wasn't me.
That wasn't me.
I've never … not just …
That wasn't me.
But God, did that feel good. She felt good. I've never felt that good.
That wasn't me.
I'm so embarrassed - I just attacked this girl.
I'm so humiliated - what if she could tell that I haven't … ?
I'm so scared - I shouldn't be this fucking turned on by a girl I hardly know.
"Penny for your thoughts." She murmurs, shifting slightly to face me, the curves of her body barely covered by the thin sheet on top of us. She smiles softly, and I feel like melting into her.
Instead, I'm going to be an asshole.
I have to. I can't do this. I can't.
"Geez, I just remembered I have a really early meeting at the shop tomorrow." I lie, turning away from her slightly.
"Oh."
Oh?
She knows.
"Yeah. I'm really sorry. I completely forgot. Maybe it would be better if you … "
I trail off as she slides out from under the sheets and crawls out of bed, walking across the room to pick up her errant clothing. My eyes are glued to her - god, she really is so beautiful. I don't deserve someone as fiery and fast and fucking gorgeous as her.
She yanks on her clothes, and I can tell she's pissed.
Hell, I'd be pissed at me too. I am pissed at me.
She walks out of the room abruptly, and I tug on my pants and follow her quickly. "Jasmine, wait."
"Thanks for that." She says, her voice icy. "Get everything you wanted?"
I step back, her eyes piercing me through the heart. She's right … I'm treating her like … she deserves so much more than …
"I'll be over day after tomorrow with the contractor, Mr. Gordon." She says, picking up her bag. "Don't call me. I'll call you."
And with that, she's gone. Out the front door. Out of my arms.
I sink down on the couch with the hole ripped into it, my head in my hands. It's not about her. This isn't about her. It's about me.
About me not knowing who I am,
where I'm going, what I'm doing.
About me still being a goody-goody, much as last night I tried to hide it.
About me vowing never to need anyone again.
But I do. I need this girl.
And I need to have my heart stop feeling like she just crushed it under her heel as she walked out my front door.
I'm such an asshole.